Wet Wipe
Moist, soft tissues used to clean mucky bits. Indispensable tools of the parenting trade that have more uses than one would care to admit in polite company. Particularly good at removing food stains from clothes before getting out of the car upon arrival at work.
I was out at a friend’s last week, when something happened to me for the first time in years. Whilst cleaning up the devastation of his son’s dinner, he reached over suddenly and wiped my face – very much in the manner that I do with my two, multiple times a day.
Wet Wipe (Smallprint)
A means of applying physical torture. Victims are held in a variety of awkward positions, whilst these implements are vigorously forced over the nose and mouth area. When approached, best to react vocally so as to attract attention from onlookers, and if unlucky enough to be restrained, prolonged and violent wriggling usually proves enough to tire the aggressor. As an evil aside, they are cunningly designed to resemble the most popular method of conveying peaceful intentions – the white flag. Do not be fooled.
Therefore, I would strongly recommend that, in a step of unilateral empathy, you have someone enthusiastically wipe your face today.
Then, simply breathe, count to ten, and wait for the overwhelming urge to kill them to subside.
Please.
Hmm, I may have been a culprit at wiping peoples mouths recently. At least my son’s anyway. We have a neighbor that always has food (or something) on her face, I just want to grab her and start washing. I’ll behave though and keep my hands to myself, at least for other people’s kids.
That’s too funny! Princess Nagger thinks it’s only fair if she subject me to getting my face wiped after I wipe hers. At least it’s not the other end, eh?
That? Was funny. The best part was when your friend wiped your face. It must be something about being a parent as I often have the urge to do the same thing to my husband…
Luckily, everyone here has outgrown me wiping them – anywhere or with anything. But I have always wondered how they breath when we cover both their mouth and nose at the same time. It’s like a little teeny tiny threat…..of what could happen if we just wiped for awhile longer. Maybe imy teenagers aren’t too old for me to wipe their faces!
I have had the urge to wipe gown up’s faces several times, I still wipe my sister’s after certain meals. lol
Wet wipes are one of the most amazing inventions ever. Seriously, how are they able to wipe spit-up out of a clean shirt? Somehow they manage, and for that I am thankful.
I absolutely love this post! Love your blog, too. I have been sick for a while so while laying incapacitated in bed last night I suddenly opened my eyes and my husband was wiping my face. “You’re drooling!” He said in a very boyish scared voice. It was soooooooooo funny. Secretly I thought it sweet he’d rather mop me up then look at me with spit on my face while I snooze. That’s love.