Sorry. This topic is not very pleasant, but unfortunately for me, has been a pressing subject of late.
Poo
Expelled bodily waste with a distinctive odour. Primarily made up of a mixture of digested foodstuffs along with byproducts of internal processes. Is a potential hazard to health, and as a result, large amounts of time and money have been invested in creating elaborate sewage systems to ensure that exposure to said material is limited. Has many synonyms, most of which are considered to be profane in nature.
Mr Alex, after a period of prolonged resistance, is now skilled at deploying his poo into the aforementioned sewage system. Though someone generally has to witness each deposit, as he treats each a bit like the maiden voyage of a ship, requiring due celebration. We do stop short of breaking bottles off of them though.
Mr Patrick, however, has recently had a rather nasty tummy bug.
Poo (Smallprint)
A foul, yet intriguing substance, that comes in variety of unpredictable forms. In one of nature’s sickest flourishes, parental instinct overrides revulsion, in order to facilitate primary care of the young. It has been said that when in a city that one is never more than twelve feet from a rat. This maxim also applies to parents, in that they are likely never to be more than twelve feet from poo, or the remnant of an earlier transaction.
One evening last week, I picked Patrick out of his high chair to say ‘Hi’ when I got home from work. First came the smell. Second came the splat. It appeared that the tummy bug had manifested some of the infamous ‘pure liquid’ variant, and it was cascading from every opening of Patrick’s clothing.
He looked like he had been marinated in a particularly piquant mustard. It was not one of his cuter moments.
A period of blind panic ensued that culminated in an emergency bath.
The next day I got into work. A helpful colleague pointed out that it appeared that I had walked through a muddy puddle.
The white heat of realisation was followed by a nervous inclination towards honesty, but thankfully I pulled out of the nose dive in time.
Yes – Damn those mucky puddles.
Brilliant read.
I don’t have children but I don’t think I need to to enjoy this post!
Hope your shoes have since seen brighter days.
hang in there! this too shall pass.
speaks to the un-recognized value of any years spent contributing to and cleaning up after party’s in the fraternity basement — tolerance for the foul and malodorous, at least in our family, noticeably higher than mom’s
Our buddy Tom remarked that whenever two parents get together, the subject of Poo isn’t far behind.
He’s right.
Friend, just be happy you HAD shoes on. Happy FF and cheers!
Ha! Poo! The universal constant. Death… Taxes… and Poo. I have 3 kids so our Poo factory runs full-throttle!
So glad I’m not the only one who blogs about poop.
Also not thet only one who has gone to work with poop smeared on myself.
LOL! Yep, those mud puddles tend to mess up your shoes, don’t they?
Hope the little one is feeling better!
I grossed about the 25 people who actually read my entire post about my “shitcation” because the other 15,000 could get past the tite. (http://www.momspective.com/its-gross/)
So so so glad to be done with that poo stuff.
Have a great Tuesday! http://harrietandfriends.com/2010/04/whoaaado-turn-ac-turn-car-ignition/
LOL! Yes I’m mostly passed this stage with my kids. But we do foster puppies and recently my hubby pointed out the “muddy” paw prints leading from puppy’s kennel. Poor thing had the runs and I’d cleaned the kennel but obviously missed the floor!